I am Blessed...

          The sun rises and we start another day. Another day we make mistakes and goals fulfilled. Dreams are started and a spark is born. We all live with guidance, wisdom, and a sense of direction in life. We all make mistakes and bad choices.  I understand that we are all born into different society sects, different cultures, and different beliefs. We all come from different walks of life. We see life different and experience life differently. We have different knowledge and wisdom of life. May we come to share and build one another through teaching, loving, and respecting one another. 

          I know God does not exist for some people. Its sad to say, but it is true. I wonder how many know the story if Jesus? I wonder how many people are not saved? I want to travel the world love them all. But is that enough? Will it change them? Is it worth it? Missionaries have traveled and evangelized to many unreachable tribes and people in the world. What more can I do if I go. I suppose I am proving to myself and the world that I have a part in it. 

          It is cold and that time of year again. It is when the stocks and businesses sky rockets because people are buying gifts after gifts for friends and family. I suppose the saying, "Money makes the world goes round," is true to some degree. I have not done any shopping yet. My mind is on my family and much I want to get them gifts. But my heart wants something more than that. I hope they understand me if they ever read this. The one desire and best gift I can receive from my family is their love and support in the things that I do. I love them all and would sacrifice anything for them. 

          One of the best gift I received this year is the lovely Natalie Elizabeth Quitasol. God has been good and evident in my life. I have been healed, saved from life threatening accidents, survived countless accidents and injuries. Thank You God! This lady is amazing. She is intelligent, beautiful, and a Godly woman. She is funny, cooks, eats, and adventurous. She loves diversity and seeks to learn new culture, and new exotic food to eat. Sounds like my kind of girl! That is why I am blessed by God to have this chance with her. We have been dating for 1 month and eight days. We've known each other for four years, but never hooked up. I believe within those four years, God was preparing us for this. Now that we are both dating and more mature, we are both confident in each other. 

          I would not mind spending the rest of my life with her and exploring life with her. To travel and wander the mass Earth together. To eat, drink, and hike the highest peak with her. What more can I ask for! I hope she understands that this is real. Although it seems fast and unreal. This is real and real as it can be. All that we have been through, everything that we promise, all that has been said and done. May we both cherish the hard times and good times together. May God teach us and guide us to be great lovers and fearing God. I have so much to say about you and for you. But I would like to save it all when the big day comes. May God keep you safe and use you to better the Kingdom of God. May he prepare both our hearts to what He has in store for us. May we be open to His teachings and guidance. 

May I...

May I have this moment with you, to wander the magnificent wonders of life. May I be given enough time, to soak in all the happiness we had. May the good Lord watch over you, and keep you safe in His arms. May I have the chance to discover this world. May I help you carry your cross to the ends of this world. May the world see the love that we shared, and not our world figures. May the warmth of the sun keep you warm and never cold. May the cool nights give you rest and peace to recuperate. May God's love flood this earth and His people, so that they may see what they all have been missing out on.

Start Kill Gore Library

Enjoy this short film. Directed by: Suzong Her

http://youtu.be/A4v04_i20nM

Healing days...

Never could imagined to lose you so soon,
Why in haste of a full moon.

Rain of tears fall everywhere,
Some have shoulders, others are in fear.

Singled out by many ideas of this world,
Let no man come to take what the Angels have sung to in ears.

It has been a while since I've written or blogged. This semester has been a roller coaster ride of emotions, relationships, and school work. I am trying very hard to control everything and make everything sound and look good. But I am wrong for trying. I should pursue the peace and quiet time with God. Jesus did the same thing right after he healed the man with the demon. He went to a place of solitude and prayed. Today at Risen King Church of Redding, Ca; Pastor Bill Randall preached on the series called, "Kingdom Tensions."
We live life trying to please and fulfill something. But why do we do that?! Isn't love from God enough? The only fulfillment we need is, to know that we are loved by God! I am guilty at this and am trying to keep this in my heart and mind. This is my last year here, God use me to better your kingdom, teach me, and guide to be a better servant. May my brothers and sisters continue to love you and your people more and more each day. Amen.

Rising tide of Emotions, making its way to this Island.
The full moon guides its path, and night fall cools it down.
Stranded boat in the sea, captain of the ship losing control.
Rising tide of Emotions, making me sea sick.
The Sun burns with fury, as my heart burns with passion.
Simply loving one person, yet that person does not want.

Just My Luck...

I have been told: "Any girl that gets you, will be a lucky girl."

I suppose no one wants to be lucky.

Letter to...

Would you understand if I wrote you a letter,
Or would it cost me another heart break.
Would you understand how I feel for you,
or would you take me for a fool.

Another letter to cure someone's heart,
Another chance to prevent a mishap.
Another person in search of love,
Another tear to be wiped away.

Would a letter be needed,
to take away your sorrows.
Or would it take song,
that sings you to sleep.

And now I sit and wait,
worried about you.
Wondering and pondering,
holding a pen on top of this letter.

Don't tempt Me...

Be strong and move on,
look forward and run.
Yield and put on a shield,
don't hesitate to be filled.
Life is surely a challenge,
but continue to be a champion.
What is fun without the sun,
Be strong and move on.

"I'm home, alone again."

The drive home was not fun at all today. I can still hear the tire eating away the pavement as I drive it. The tread shrinking away. The loud music is keeping me calm and focus on the road. The ongoing thought of "Will I make it home?" runs through my mind every minute. Steadily controlling the wheel and making sure I don't go into another lane. I drop speed when I think my tire is drifting too much. My eyes gazing on and off the gas gauge, making sure I have enough gas home. The other drivers are minding their own business while I drive this vehicle that can break down any second. The endless prayers continues as I got home and parked my car in front of the house. Nice and slow as I approach the front door, awaiting a welcome home.

"Be Hopeful."

Keep Smiling...

Another day, another try
Missing your soft touch
Another round, another drink
Getting myself drunk lately

Wiping the tears away
Moving on with my life
No looking back
Forgetting about us
Pushing these feelings aside
Letting you hold your smile
(To make him smile…)

Another night, another cry
Breaking my own heart again
Another shooting star, another wish
Letting these feelings drift away

I cannot change your past
But we can change the future
I may be able to fix everything
But not the way I feel for you

Wiping the tears away
Moving on with my life
No looking back
Forgetting about us
Pushing these feelings aside
Letting you hold your smile
(To make him smile…)

Back Then...

The past can either haunt you, or teach you. It is funny how I look back and see how I chased dreams, drifted away from family, friends, and God. But one thing I remember I was not going to lose sight on the life I had ahead of me. I wanted to see my family and I happy. I wanted to see myself finish college. I wanted to see my wife, kids, travel to places, serve people, and make my family proud. But much of the past has made me whom I am today believe it or not.

I can still remember the smell of grease on my hands, the bike tire/rim, the tall green grass by the railroad where we use to play. The endless nights of hide and seek and cops and robbers. The hot sumer nights that we stayed outside and slept outside because out parents wouldn't turn on the air conditioner (they wanted to save money). I can still remember the days where I use to play house with my neighbor's kids.

The time where I had friends who'll come over with their Nintendo game console and play it at my house. I remember the time where the boys and I made our very own authentic cut out from the tree slingshots. We went hunting crazy around the neighborhood and got chased by a black guy. We shot his car by accident.

I remember the time where I raced by best buddy around the block and flew off my bike and scrapped my left chest. I remember all the fights, the shootings, the robberies, the burglaries, the car theft, and the crying in the neighborhood. But I do remember the happy faces, the wrinkle old smiling faces in the morning. The cry of a child that needs a mother's presence at dawn. The laughter and friendship that was made. This was my childhood days.

Middle school and High school came like a heartbeat. All of a sudden I was messed up and pursuing foolish things in life. I was already hanging out with the wrong crowd. Or was the people outside of our group the outsiders and wrong about us?!

Growing up I did not have much in my family. Our family did not have the latest gadgets. My parents were good at making and finding use items for us that we were happy for what they got us. I remember my dad buying a used bike for my younger brother, then I helped him fix his bike and mine. Spring cleaning season was like Christmas for me. I remember my buddies and I would go out on Friday evenings and hunt for bike parts.

One week ago I was in a car accident. Sadly to say, it was a hit and run. The guy ran a red light while turning. I did my best to avoid him and brake. My beautiful truck was taken away from me right then. I only have liability Insurance for my truck. Long story short: the insurance company I have does not cover my whole car. I knew that I was going to lose my truck, but for some reason I had this hope in me that everything was going to be okay. That I might be able to fix it and ride it again in no time. Although it will take me a long time and money.

I've been given lots of things in life. The first car I had was free and same thing for the truck. In life we might get things our way, but in reality it really isn't. We think that we are in control, but in the eyes of God we are not. Sometimes in life things are taken away from us unexpectedly. Just like how my truck was taken away from me, things in life are taken away from us.

But I thought about the people in the third world country and how they do not have the stuff that I have. The house that I live under, the cars that I drive, the food that I eat, the AC and Heat I get during the season, the job I have, and the God I believe in. Sighs...then why do I worry? Its probably because I have the car and use it frequently. Its probably because I am oblivious to these things in life that I take for granted. But above all, I give praise and glory to God for all the things in life that He has given me. I will cherish the time here, the possessions I have in life, and the people.

Taking Hits...

Not allowing my feelings to overtake me,
Sit aside the foolish thoughts.
Throwing away every happy moments,
making sense of what is not.
Confuse and lost here I come,
with no more questions to be said.
Let alone the teary eyes,
flow from one person's face.
How foolish am I to ever think,
that we could be together and free.

Nothing More...

Feelings hidden and brushed off,
What else can I do.
People swaying along,
not knowing the pain inside.
The world in despair,
taking everything for granted.
Simple as I can be,
hard as a rock as I move on.
Goals set and locked,
target in sight.
Encountering God,
moving because He is.

2011 Summer

Day in and day out I sit and think about my future. How it will all come to me within a heart beat. Better days has gone away and I await more to come. I am learning to live life and enjoy what life brings. Many of the times it is hard to accept and admit what you want in life. I try to make excuses and avoid such situations (I am too good at this). Many of my friends say that I can do everything, and fix everything. They are right to some extent. But to say that I am good at everything, sighs, I wish I could be. But I will try my best to be the person that God has made me to be. I will be the Son that my father and mother wants me to be. I will honor the name of my family. I will do my best as a brother to my siblings and take care of them. I will offer myself to my friends, and always be that good friend who is there when needed. I will be the husband that loves his wife and children. A husband who is willing to die for his family. A servant of God who is willing to go wherever God leads me. A follower of Christ.

Yellow Bird...

(Author: Rachel Yang)

Once upon a time there was a gang called Yellow Bird. They were the most notorious group in town and everyone shivered at the slightest whisper of “Yellow Bird.” The leader of that group, Sao-Dawg, was known for his skills in Fishing-Pole-Kite making, his weapon of choice. Everyone knew that once he flew that kite and reeled it back in, a neck of an enemy was doomed.

So one day, as Sao-Dawg was walking in the dark alley without his posse, his arch enemy, Rebel-Rach came and stopped him in his tracks. She said, “Sao-Dawg, give me your Fishing-Pole-Kite, for you have killed too many!”
Sao replied, “Not by hair on my chinny chin chin!”

So they fought back and forth, punch after punch, dodge after dodge, only to find themselves worn out. So Rebel-Rach thought of a master plan, her finishing move, Wedgie-Wedge! She built enough momentum, ran towards Sao-Dawg in full speed, tackled him down, and pulled his Yellow Underwear over and on top of his head!
Sao-Dawg obviously gave up the Fishing-Pole-Kite at that point, surrendered, and the world lived happily-ever-after.

The End

A Man has many dreams, one made it all possible.

Chase...

(sighs) I opened my eyes and saw what was real,
depended on reality t.v shows and waited on the deal.
What could of happen to me and you,
what happen to the spark that grew.
We ditch it, ate it, and threw it all away,
they found it, took it, and replaced it with a spare.
How can I be real with you,
How can I show my inner most being.
Will you believe in me,
or will you just turn away and start walking.
Whatever comes, whatever burns,
whatever satisfies your soul.
May you remember the Lord our God and what he did for you.
May you encounter God's power and loving hands for you.
I'm not here to judge, I'm not here to point,
I'm not here to tell you a lie.
But I'm here to be, by your side.

[...Title...]

It is 3:31am Friday morning right now. Why am I still up? Wal-Mart, Guys, Gals, school, Spring Formal, bad sleeping habits, and emails. 3:33AM...probably should go to sleep.

The Simplest thing can become the most difficult thing.

In my days...

Here I go off again talking non-sense. On a serious note I fear of getting back into a relationship. I don’t want the heart ache anymore. I don’t want to see or hear a girl cry again. I don’t want to break her heart. If I was to ever want to see a girl cry, I would want to see her cry happy tears. I would like to know that her heart aches for people who are not loved. I want to know that her heart breaks for the homeless, the orphans, the ill, the sick and poor, those who are in search of God’s truth. Why go through the pain and misery when you can avoid it?!

Sighs...maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m thinking way too much here. However, I cannot avoid the very fact that I do desire a partner, a wife, a helper. She is not just my helper, but I am her helper as well. People seem to ask the question, "What do you look for in a wife?". To answer that...well someone who is willing to learn with me, to cook with me, to explore with me, to grow with me, to correct me and be corrected, to have fun with me, to sing with me, to live, laugh, pray together, and love together.

Just Me...

I’ve tried so hard to understand the will of God and maintain a steady relationship with Him. What am I doing that’s wrong here? Because sometimes I just don’t get it anymore?! I may look like someone who knows it all and got life all figured out. But deep down inside I am lost and searching for the right path in life. Making my way through the sentimental thoughts and keeping it real is harder than I thought. Look at what I have become. What do you see? Well on a side note: I have followed Jesus Christ for only 3 years. I accepted Christ at a young age but did not know why I did it. I wanted to get baptized because my friends were doing it. So why am I here today at a Christian University studying to become a Pastor?
Maybe someday I’ll have it all figured out. But it will be hard to prove it all to you. I wish we all could just come along and walk together, learn together, eat together, and love together. I know this is not me but it is whom I wish to do and eventually become. I have run into obstacles in life and it is hard to go over it all by myself. Sometimes I wish there were other people there with me. Sometime I wish they weren’t there. I don’t want them to go through the pain and misery with me. But how can we learn and grow if we are not exposed to such matters.
This year I have encounter God’s power and there is nothing better than that I tell ya! It was not easy to take it all in at first. But after the first encounter, I’ve begun to be sensitive to God’s available healing power. I know it sounds weird and all, but when you encounter God’s power there is no clear way to explain it so that people will understand it with you. I suppose it doesn’t matter how you feel and what you think about this. I do hope that you’ll eventually encounter God’s power someday you’ll be in awe and wonders how I once was.
The semester is coming to an end and I have nothing planned for the summer. I am well aware of the hot summer days alone in the dorm. Restless night after work and new relationship being built is expected this summer. Maybe I should wander off on an adventurous mission trip and see what is out there for me. Maybe I should just sit back and be quiet and allow God to speak into my life. Maybe I should learn how to play a new song on the guitar, sing some new tunes for the lonely summer stars.

Here it comes...

So I just found out that I only have 3 more classes to take in order for me to graduate. I was stoked to hear this great news. So that means I only have one more semester with my friends here at Simpson University. I have to get the most out of it so I decided to move back onto campus. It is pretty refreshing and exciting to move back on campus. I do hope that the community will strengthen and grow together.

Within ME

Learning how to resist,
Learning how to persist.
Waiting for an answer,
Waiting patiently.
In search of Truth,
In need of Use.

"I have to overcome my own ambitions. I have to wait."

Random facts...

Random Fact #1: God healed me from Gout
Random Fact #2: I am too simple & cheap
Random Fact #3: I'll eat anything that will not kill me (not a picky eater!)
Random Fact #4: I like to sit and watch the sun set & rise
Random Fact #5: Favorite colors are...Green, Blue,and Khaki
Random Fact #6: Willing to learn anything
Random Fact #7: I enjoy the outdoors
Random Fact #8: God brought
Random Fact #9: I like to fix things
Random Fact #10: I've dyed my sister's hair/streaked it for her at least four times

2011 Spring Break

As I gather my thoughts for Spring Break there is the restless nights of partying and what reality T.V. has shown me. My Spring Break started early within the month. Countless movie nights with netflix, all nighters, Carl's Jr., Dennys, and catching God's flash light(The Sun). Sighs...how I have not discover this earlier. Great friends, permanent study time, and memories filled with laughter, tear drops, stories, testimonies, and prayers.

In reality, my Spring Break will be fill with working 8 hours a day for the entire break. Its not about the money, its about keeping myself busy and doing what I am best at(Janitorial Work). Well that is not the only thing I'm good at. I believe there are other things I am pretty good at besides janitorial jobs. Sadly to say, I am too good at breaking my own heart. It is better to say, "At least I am not breaking a Gal's Heart."

On the other hand, my spring break begins with the journey of all nighters, movies with my loving friends, and then camping. The rain has made its home in our town. Needless to say, it is home to all. Have you've noticed that home was not mention? I have no excuses.

Time awaits me
Time wakes me
Excuses score
Excuses no more
Friends or Foe
Friends of Love
Boy do I know
Boy do I cry
God is here
God is there
God is everywhere

Yours...

Everything I have is yours
From big to small
On earth & to the stars
What have I made from my own two hands?
Nothing but my own desires
Come & have your way

What more can I ask from you God
You blessed me with abundance grace & love
What lives in me is your Son
My savior Jesus Christ

..ezama..

Like snow that melts away, may our sadness pass away.
Like trees that grow fiercely, may we grow together without ceasing!
Look at the sun as it rise, can I stay by your side.
Look at how the flowers bloom, may our love fill such room.
I thank God for a beautiful lady, during the summer’s late night waiting.
I am happy to be with you, may our love be bonded like glue.
My Love, My Love, you will always be beautiful, in God’s eyes and in Mine.

...Consider this....

Before I start out writing my heart or mind out, here is something that I got out of today, "Accepting God's power is accepting His Change." This thought came to mind because in class we were discussing about repentance. Just wanted to share that you y'all.

Switch of subject. So today was super cold for me at school. I had on a good layer of clothing but it was still cold. I asked one of my Hmong friends from Nebraska is this is cold for him and he said, "its alright." I also asked him how cold does Nebraska get, "Dude, way colder" is what he said.

In the meanwhile I was reading: Luke 9:1-3 Jesus Sends Out the Twelve
1 When Jesus had called the Twelve together, he gave them power and authority to drive out all demons and to cure diseases, 2 and he sent them out to proclaim the kingdom of God and to heal the sick. 3 He told them: “Take nothing for the journey—no staff, no bag, no bread, no money, no extra shirt.

After reading this passage and reflecting upon it, I concluded that Jesus gave healing power and authority to the disciples. We all know that they received His power and authority and went out just like that. Yes...just like that. But it is harder for all of us to this nowadays. I think it is harder for the Hmong Churches and Christians, to see God's healing power. Come guys and gals lets go out and start healing with all that Christ gave to us. Easier said than done. Yes, I know.

I am 23, and positive with Gout. If you don't know what Gout is check out the link provided here: http://www.niams.nih.gov/Health_Info/Gout/gout_ff.asp

Long story short, I am healed from gout just like that. My friend prayed for me and immediately I was healed. How do I know? Well, just to make it short and simple I ate certain food that will trigger the attacks. Its almost like having food allergy. So my friend and I bought some colossal shrimp and made some curry with it. I ate 6 shrimps and waited to see if anything would happen. Two days has gone by and nothing. I waited and waited and still nothing. Praise God!....as I got up one morning. I also went to a Bethel healing service where I was a bit skeptical about. But the day before the service I prayed to God saying that, "The women who touched Jesus' cloak was healed, why do I have such small faith."

I finally realized that God's healing power is sufficient and given at anytime at any moment. Sometimes we might be one more prayer away from getting healed. God's healing power is available for anyone out there. Jesus went to the unwanted, poor, drunkard, and cast out and served them. Are we being Christ like? Are you avoiding His Power ad Authority? Remember this, the Holy Spirit that lived in Paul, the Disciples, and Apostles, is the same one that lives in you today!

...Just once more...

So I've picked up the sport or activity disc golf. I never knew such a thing existed until my internship in Eau Claire, WI; which lead me to countless games and experiences with my friends and cousins. After the internship I returned to school and decided to buy some disc of my own at play it again store. It is great place for beginners with great prices for sports wears and gears. I got some discs and called up my friend Chao for a few rounds. We both knew that our school had a course, but we were noobies for sure. WE had no directions of the holes and tee off sections. Of course we did not play by ourselves; we decided to invite some of our friends to come along.

When we all got to the course, we met Robin and his friend playing already. We asked him if he did not mind, to show us the course and he did. We played two rounds total and I ended with a +0 the first round, and then +2 on the last. Sighs...this course was so difficult to play on. The thick trees, creeks, hills, and shining sun made it challenge for such a noob like me. I knew that this new sport or activity was going to bring great time for the guys to chat and bond. What I did not know was that it was going to be an addiction.

Days after our first game together, I set out for a practice round all by myself. I made a few birdies and pars. I was really proud of myself and wanted to play with the guys. Moments later, a friend off mine called and said he wanted to play a round. A round went to two, then to three. I told the guys I had to go and that it was getting late. The sunset was cast out it in the open and the sky was being painted with purple. Sighs, what a beautiful painting.

Sometimes we don't admit to our addictions, sins, and faults. We all need to admit to it and correct our self before it is too late. Too late that many lies have covered it up. Too late that we lost trust, love ones, and our self image. The bible teaches many things and rebukes many. People have studied the bible for many years. lets look at it this way for once, instead of studying it...live by it, speak God's words, breath His truth, think of His thoughts, and thirst for it. I still have a hard time doing this, but I will not grow if I have no one to share it with. Just once more.