Just Me...

I’ve tried so hard to understand the will of God and maintain a steady relationship with Him. What am I doing that’s wrong here? Because sometimes I just don’t get it anymore?! I may look like someone who knows it all and got life all figured out. But deep down inside I am lost and searching for the right path in life. Making my way through the sentimental thoughts and keeping it real is harder than I thought. Look at what I have become. What do you see? Well on a side note: I have followed Jesus Christ for only 3 years. I accepted Christ at a young age but did not know why I did it. I wanted to get baptized because my friends were doing it. So why am I here today at a Christian University studying to become a Pastor?
Maybe someday I’ll have it all figured out. But it will be hard to prove it all to you. I wish we all could just come along and walk together, learn together, eat together, and love together. I know this is not me but it is whom I wish to do and eventually become. I have run into obstacles in life and it is hard to go over it all by myself. Sometimes I wish there were other people there with me. Sometime I wish they weren’t there. I don’t want them to go through the pain and misery with me. But how can we learn and grow if we are not exposed to such matters.
This year I have encounter God’s power and there is nothing better than that I tell ya! It was not easy to take it all in at first. But after the first encounter, I’ve begun to be sensitive to God’s available healing power. I know it sounds weird and all, but when you encounter God’s power there is no clear way to explain it so that people will understand it with you. I suppose it doesn’t matter how you feel and what you think about this. I do hope that you’ll eventually encounter God’s power someday you’ll be in awe and wonders how I once was.
The semester is coming to an end and I have nothing planned for the summer. I am well aware of the hot summer days alone in the dorm. Restless night after work and new relationship being built is expected this summer. Maybe I should wander off on an adventurous mission trip and see what is out there for me. Maybe I should just sit back and be quiet and allow God to speak into my life. Maybe I should learn how to play a new song on the guitar, sing some new tunes for the lonely summer stars.