..ekam..

What has made me, is caring for me.
The path that I choose from here on,
will determine who I am.
O God, my creator your Love
is what I depend on.
Even though I call onto you with
my own iniquity at hand you still love me.
All for you, O God who loves abundantly
and gives it freely.
I am nothing if I did not have you O God.
O Lord, my savior and redeemer who has died
for me on the cross, I will come and give you praise daily.
I will come with my pains and suffering for I know that you
are the one who is the greatest doctor and healer.
May you use me to the end of my days, so that your kingdom may
overflow with your children.
I am here and suffering O God, I will still praise you for who
are because I am all yours.
Who am I to say that I am my own.
Woe to whom says that and may you forgive them O sovereign and
loving God.
Our own ways have taken us out from yours.
Our shame has brought us down, to where our eyes are not relying
on you anymore O Lord.
My will is in hunger to praise you and please you Father.
O my soul has more to earn and more to learn.
But I know with your great wisdom, guidance, and love you will
provide a way for me to know you, and love you deeper each day.
God, I will continue to serve you even with this disease that have.
Gout will go out form this body one day.
I have Gout, but Gout does not have me!
All praise and glory to the most high!

..Smell..

As I walk to the front gates of the fairground and reaches in for my wallet, I can already smell the fresh cooked bb-q meat that is probably sizzling and getting the people hungry as they walk inside the festival. Getting inside the gates was not as hard as I thought it was going to be. There was no security in the front making sure that there were any gangsterish guys entering the Hmong New Year festival. I did notice that there was a guy that stood far away from the front gates watching everyone coming in and he was dressed like an security guard.
But I am not certain that he is a trained professional guard because he did have any source of defense on him. All he had was a walkie talkie, green security guard pants and shirt. He didn't seem to scare me at all if I was involve in a fight, and if he was suppose to be running to catch me..ahah..But, I will not ever be involve in any street fights. O.k, so the Chico youth and Simpson folks was going to pick up cans and plastic bottles so that we can all recycle them and get some money for the youth group in Chico. Moving towards the crowds in my Hmong clothing and swiveling my Hmong necklace(Hmong bling), making sure that my pants was not touching the ground, picking up every plastic bottle in every direction was hard work because the Sun would not let us rest.
After a few hours of hard work and satisfying refreshments, we all took a rest in the gymnasium and watched the performers perform their acts and talents. Sitting around and listening to the love songs, Hmong riddles, couples, family, and our guys and gals there, made me think about Church service, if there was going to be any possibility that we were able to reach out to this much people. What if church service looked like this? What if...what if we were able to preach and lead these people to Christ, to God..! sighs...it made me think so much that when it was time to go back and pick more cans and bottles the thought went away. But now I can remember that gut feeling when I saw that so many people was so interested in the Hmong festival.
What if we introduced them all to Christ..I wonder how they react?? A few hours into picking up more cans and water bottles, the whole team was really exhausted and tired.so they all took a rest but not Zong and I. We decided to go all around the whole fairground and check out all the bins and garbage dumps once more. Gathering all the bags full with cans and water bottles was easy and quick because we had Da's tacoma pickup truck and we all loaded the trucks bed liner in no time. Rushing towards the buffet restaurant and stuffing our stomachs with food and drinking tons of H2o from the hot fall heat.
Coming back from Chico and riding i the back of car was new to me. I never sat in hte back of my truck before and this was my first time. Sitting in the back and trying to catch the breeze coming in from the outside was soothing. I had my pillow in my hands and I fell asleep instantly when I lay my head on it. Waking up to the conversation of Thunder and Zong had me up and ready for our destination, Simpson University!! Coming back to compass and noticing that I am back for a reason made me realize that I really need to focus on my ministry more and more. Recognizing my life's purpose and reasons to be living I stared back into the sky and thank God for His Love, His Son, and the Holy Spirit.
Noticing all that can happen, and having such a big vision, and especially going through obstacles in life made me think and realize that everything that I do i life, has to be for God and not for myself. Acknowledging that who is my creator, who is the one that gave life, breathe, love, and family/friends to lean onto. Many great things and event has happen in my life, and there were many bad things, but am still thankful for every event, drama, problems, situations, and obstacle that God was with me at all time. Recognizing and allowing God to work within us, and especially asking Him to empower us and bless because that is what He wants us to do. To ask Him! To PRAY!! Knowing this sudden rush of realization, I know that I really have be committed to fulfilling my education here at Simpson University. Prayerfully, and being faithful to God at all time and costs.

..emoc..

come and see what i have for you
thought it is not much of what you may think what it ought to be
listen, and hear the sounds of joy
sit, and rest alongside with me
talk, talk to me and pray
catch, I'll catch you when you fall
rise, and see that you are back up again
you were never forgotten
and I have always prayed for you
love that does not envy
this that i have for you
I do not ask back from you

..ease..

As the face of the earth reveals its true identity
Your love flows into every single heart
When the child is beaten and in despair
You cover them with your loving hands

and as the sun shines through every person's life
may the moon guide them through their lonely nights

Whatever your dealing with
in the past or future
call Him by name
call Him to your rescue
GOD reigns on hide

and with outstretch arms, God catches you
so hold on tight and don't let go
for the one who you are holding onto, will never let go
know that He is always Loving, loving so that we can love too

..this..

People seem to reveal their most undesirable moments so easily to people to recognize. Yet, they don't even bother trying to fix up their life. We all have been hit big, I mean BIG BIG with major crisis and life changing moments. People have tried their best to prove to their love ones positively and by doing this they lose so much. whatever the circumstances are, people seem to forget the choices they have made in life, and especially commitment that they have set up for their self. But I suppose this is the lack of not being able to understand that God is in control. Not just that, but that we, you, everyone is putting God before we even make a decision in life. Praying and asking God to come into out life situation. Asking God to come and deliver us from whatever we are going through in our life. God has so much blessings that, when we ask for it He will give it with no hesitation. God really wants all of us to ask Him, and seek His will. His will is His words, His way, and crucially, His Love.